Soul Food

I’ve been taking a bit of a social media hiatus lately. A few weeks ago, I noticed that I was feeling SO irritable and having a lot of negative thoughts. I took a serious self-inventory, looking at my daily habits, and paying attention to my mindset and emotions throughout the day. I noticed a significant amount of time and energy was being spent non-productively on social media. Now, I use social media for my businesses, as well as staying connected with friends and family, but I was doing a lot of scrolling through senseless posts, reading people’s rants, and found myself getting downright pissed at some of it. The number of people bitching and complaining on social media is astronomical and started to really wear me down. I got so sick of opening up my feed and even some messages to see yet ANOTHER “oh my life sucks so bad” or “poor me” type posts and messages. Too many people with a victim mindset, feeding their lame excuses, and lamenting about all the horrible things going on in their lives really got to me! So, I said “buh bye” to social media for a bit and logged off.

For hours and even days at a time, I have been off social media, leaving my phone on silent or off. Taking those minutes I would’ve been stuck in the “scroll hole” and doing something for myself, my family, or my home instead. Even if it’s 15 minutes while big sis watches the baby, I’ll run to the bathroom and do a face mask real quick. I’ve been decluttering, organizing, and redecorating our home. Sitting on the floor with my baby memorizing the details of his soft chubby cheeks and belly, long lashes, and sweet giggles while I read to his big sister. Listening to my favorite music and filling my home with the scents, sounds, and tastes of fall. Having heart to heart conversations with my preteen and teen about life and growing up, and reminiscing about my awkward years. Logging off was so needed for my sanity and my family! I now have a refreshed mindset and a more grateful and positive attitude simply by enforcing a boundary of what I allow into my mind and heart, and ultimately, my home.

The kitchen is the soul place in our home.. It is warm, cheerful, sunny, and very much the most utilized room. One simply cannot be grouchy in my kitchen!! ūüėā¬†Soups, breads, pies, cookies, and some of our favorite meals and memories are being created there, and sometimes I just stand there and take it all in, almost as if videotaping it with my mind to be able to remember years from now. When I’m old and all my kids are out of the house, I won’t remember the posts on social media, but we WILL all remember the times we spent laughing, dancing, and making messes in the kitchen. This is the place that feeds not only our bellies but our souls…¬†‚̧ԳŹ

What soulful days are made of…. Grandma’s hand-me-down pie dish, cinnamon, clove, ginger essential oil diffuser blend, soup simmering on the oven from a roasted chicken the previous night, classic rock playing in the background, a baby cooing at my feet, and baking therapy….

A simple sugar-free apple crisp using monkfruit as sweetener, the topping made with organic palm shortening, monkfruit, and almond flour. I added some Young Living Vitality Essential Oils for flavor – Cinnamon Bark, Clove, and Nutmeg ūüôā

Do you find yourself grumbling about your circumstances? Take a step back and evaluate. Maybe, like me, you are spending too much time looking at other’s lives, comparing yours, or being dragged down by the negative Nellys? Don’t get on social media and snivel. Instead, find what feeds your SOUL, what makes you feel happy and content and stay in that place. Journal, meditate, get outside, surround yourself with friends and family who share a high vibe positive energy, laugh, dance, be silly, listen to good music, eat good food, and block out the rest. Because, as my cousin said,

“Life’s to short to sit and watch everyone else’s!”¬†

Closing a Door

*Heavy sigh* I’ve written and rewritten this post a couple times now… The first time it was a 4¬†page document, and I went into great detail about how I was wronged by someone, how I felt totally taken advantage of, how I allowed a wolf in sheep’s clothing to override my intuition for the 2nd time in our 6 year “friendship,” and why I felt justified and right in my mind… ¬†I have grown a lot in the last few years, and have learned that taking the high road, not giving the attention to those toxic narcissistic people that they so desperately desire, letting things go, and moving forward is the best approach for dealing with negative people and situations. There is nothing I can say here that will change anyone’s mind, or justify my side of things because all that does is bring me down to their level. I wrote that looooong document to help me process the pain and try to gain a better understanding of myself, the other person, and the entire situation. As I re-read it, I asked myself, “How can I grow?” “What can I learn from this?” Because even the most difficult, stressful situations, and manipulative, fake, and toxic people have lessons to teach us if we just take the time to process it and look at it from ALL angles… Understanding where the other person is coming from, that a childhood trauma emotionally stunted them, that they are not really living in absolute authenticity and their truth, and that jealousy is one hell of a monster, all of these things while they don’t excuse the behavior, give us compassion for others even in the midst of the turmoil they cause.

This year has been AMAZING so far, I have completed my entire list of goals for the year in two months, my personal, family, and business life are blooming beautifully, but as you know, all that glitters isn’t gold… I know that with great success comes great trials and that no matter how awesome everything is going, there WILL be inevitable heartbreak and closed doors. When you encounter a closing door, know that it is because you are worth SO¬†much MORE, that there IS something better coming.. The doors that open will lead you on the right path, and those things that come to an end are NOT right for your journey on this thing called life…

17352860_1808604792794080_1964387712_n

I don’t pretend to have all the answers, or be a “lifestyle expert,” because honestly most days I don’t feel like I quite have my stuff together haha I can only speak from the heart, from my experiences, and hope that it will inspire and help others… I’ve said before that I don’t claim to be anything I’m not… I’m sarcastic, blunt, and can be very fierce and protective if provoked, but I also LOVE my family and close circle of people I’ve been blessed with, I work my ass off for my family, career/passion, and have no problem being ME in all my flaws, hilarity, and weirdness! I am at peace with who I am because I have fought all my demons, healed from past traumas, and just live each day with authenticity and don’t give a crap anymore if people like me or not!!

When others¬†talk negatively¬†about you, it’s a reflection of THEMSELVES. So over the last couple months, I’ve been¬†called loud, arrogant, slick, conniving, malicious, and even EVIL (hahaha), and yes at first, it stings, but ultimately it’s that person’s issues within themselves. THEY are the ones that are all those things but are too damn blinded to see it, so they try to deflect and project it onto others around them. ¬†I’m always looking inward to maintain self-responsibility, acknowledging when I screw up, recognizing my shortcomings and trying my best to grow, move forward, make amends where they need to be made. Once you’ve come to peace with yourself, your flaws, and who you truly are, no one can use that against you, and when people say things about you, it just rolls off like water off a duck’s feathers, because you know what you are and what you are not.
th (1)

So, the major lessons here —

#1. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS trust your instincts… If someone or something feels “off” DO NOT ignore that!!!! Our bodies and souls pick up on vibes unrecognizable sometimes by other people, and they may even make us feel weird or wrong for having these “hunches.” But, having to learn this lesson the hard and painful way MORE than once, I can tell you, that these are NEVER wrong.. I had this person pinned 4 years ago for what she truly was, but let others supersede my intuition which was a HUGE mistake… LISTEN to that still small voice and feelings that tell you when something’s not quite right.¬†

#2. When a door closes, WALK AWAY. Don’t sit there banging on it, trying to pry the handle open, driving yourself nuts wondering why the door is closed. Pick yourself up, gather your dignity, leave it closed, and move on with your life. There are¬†SO many better things coming your way, I promise! :*¬†

#3. I will reiterate this. OTHER PEOPLE DO NOT DICTATE YOUR WORTH!!!!!!! Let those haters hate, say whatever they want about you, but know that your beauty, your value, and who you are deep in your soul is not based upon anyone else’s opinions. The whole world could be against me, and I will still know who I am, continue to do what I do, and live my life…¬†

This last few weeks have been difficult, to say the least, but through these trials, I always come out stronger and wiser. Some may say they wish nothing bad would ever happen, but I’ve learned that there is beauty in darkness, there are lessons in hardships, and growth in pain. I write to heal, I write to process, and I write to hopefully inspire… Like I said, I’m no life guru, but if my experiences and my¬†lessons¬†of life help just ONE person, then it’s worth it. Close doors, heal, move forward, and do no harm, but also take no shit!!! ‚̧

~SK