13 Years

My husband and I are celebrating 13 years of marriage this year. I wish I could tell you that it’s been sheer wedded bliss and everything has been so beautiful and magical with fluffy unicorns, raindrops on roses, and all that crap. Honestly, our marriage has been filled with heartache, loss, debt, and there were several times we thought we wouldn’t even make it.

We got married young (I was 20, he was 27), and while we both loved each other, neither of us I think really had any clue what true love was all about. I especially still had a lot of growing up to do, and we faced a LOT, and I mean, A FREAKING SHIT-TON of obstacles in our marriage. If you would’ve told me 5 years ago that we’d be celebrating 13 years HAPPILY and excitedly welcoming our FIFTH baby soon, I would’ve laughed in your face!!!

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I’m no relationship guru, but there is one HUGE thing I have learned that I believe is KEY to what makes my marriage successful:

Respect ~ Those that know me know I am not the submissive type, when I’m told what to do or what I “should” do, I usually just laugh…  I’ve always been fiercely independent and stubborn, with a bit of a rebellious streak, so “respecting” my husband was not something that was on my radar. “Respect” was one of those words that would instantly repulse me. It wasn’t until more recently, that I have found what respect means both to me and my husband… For instance, he needs transparency, but for me, I need support; and because we respect each other, these needs are met.

He also doesn’t want a docile doormat of a wife, in fact, he has told me that one of the things he loves about me is my headstrong ways… And one of the things I love about him is his alpha character…  With two very tenacious people, it can be “like a tornado meeting a volcano,” but when we work together, magic happens!! THIRTEEN YEARS and we finally understand mutual respect, instead of butting heads, we put them together and figure out how we can tackle life’s curveballs.

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On the surface, my husband and I can be very different. Polar opposites in some ways, even. But our core beliefs, values, deep love and commitment for each other and our family are the ties that bind us 

He’s also one of my favorite humans, and here are just a couple reasons why: 

~ He can straight throw it down in the kitchen, it’s like having my own personal chef when he’s home. This is AFTER he’s worked ungodly hours (up to 70 hours a week) just to provide a comfortable life for our family. This may not seem like much, but the way to my heart is through my belly!! 😛 He shows his love in very practical ways, like letting me take a nap when I’m sleep deprived, making extra food for leftovers during the week when I’ll be busy.. And I am SO GRATEFUL for these expressions of love!!!

~ He’s my rock. I’m a very emotional creature, (INFP, Cancerian, empath — all signs say I am ALL heart), so I tend to get worked up about the STUPIDEST things, and he is always the voice of reason, talking me down with logic and patience. (In fact, when I found out I was pregnant with #5 and was losing my shit, he was the one saying, “It will be just fine, I will do everything I can to help you, AND maybe we’ll get a little boy!”) 😉 He is supportive of some of my crazy ideas. Doesn’t mean I won’t get an ear full of what a dumb idea it might be, but he’ll still listen to my side of things, offer his best advice, and then let me do my thing.

We certainly aren’t perfect, never have been, never will be. But we are perfect for each other and are finally reaping some of the rewards for sticking it out through the hardest times of our lives. I know that no matter what happens in this life, as long as we are together, we can face it head on and will persevere…

Here’s to 13 years, and many more to come!!!! 

 

~To love and be loved is everything ~

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The Wellness Line

Last week in the Health and Wellness Challenge I’m hosting on facebook, I chatted live about the Wellness Line and what that means in regards to evaluating one’s state of health.

For simplicity, I address health in 3 dimensions – Body, Mind, and Soul. The body includes the physical being, all body systems (immune, respiratory, cardiovascular, muscular, nervous, etc); energy level, and is directly impacted by choices and habits of diet, exercise, sleep, drug/alcohol use, and hygiene. The mind consists of mental and emotional health, social (interaction with others, relationships), and the mindset (negative or positive outlook). A strong sense of purpose, values, faith, peace, harmony, and contentment within one’s spiritual essence contribute to a healthy soul.  All of these aspects of health are entwined and can affect each other in terms of your overall health. For instance, a physical problem may be an underlying mental or emotional issue that is manifesting in the body. In fact, it’s been discovered that even some autoimmune disorders can be linked to chronic stress or anxiety. So it’s important to address ALL areas of health – body, mind, and soul when examining current health conditions, as well as being proactive in preventative care.

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The phrase “Living Above the Wellness Line” is used a lot by both myself and other professionals in my industry to encourage people to seek out and pursue a lifestyle of well-being in all aspects of life. As you can see in the graphic below, the differences in living above vs below the wellness line are drastic. Living above the wellness line is the ideal — this is feeling well physically (eating clean, exercising, sleeping, etc), maintaining a positive attitude and outlook, having an energetic and zealous perspective, being supported and surrounded by healthy relationships and community, with a strong sense of purpose and direction in life. By contrast, living below the wellness line is just a lousy, miserable state of being, and unfortunately, how most people are living their lives on a daily basis. Headaches, digestive problems, chronic conditions, being overweight, depression, anxiety, anger, little to no connection with others through friendships and community, abusive or negligent relationships, and no sense of ambition or meaning to life or a calling are just a few manifestations of what living below the wellness line looks like in one’s life.

So where are you on this wellness line? Are you above it? Or are you below? Where is each part of your health on the wellness line — where is your body? Your mind? What about your soul? Take a quick inventory of your health and rate yourself (you can even do a 1-10 scale) on where every component of your health is on the wellness line. Be honest with yourself, and then think about what goals and steps you can take to improve the areas that need help the most. If you would like HELP, please do not hesitate to reach out to me, and we can discuss your health goals and how to achieve them! You can email sabrina.kate629@yahoo.com or drop me a line on facebook too!!!

 

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Balance: Raising Babies & a Business

Hey everyone!! So this blog started out as a one stop hub for all things wellness – mind, body, soul, with fitness, recipes, and natural beauty, but I figure it will also evolve and grow into what it is meant to be as time goes on. Since I am a mother and business owner, blogging takes a back seat (as in, I haven’t blogged in over a month lol), so I thought it would actually be a good topic for a blog post!! Running a household and an empire, raising babies and businesses, balancing wife, mom, and boss life, tips on being a LEADER vs a dictator, developing my brand, turning passion into business, building the business, and continuing to learn and grow while being consumed by family and work life.  If you are an aspiring entrepreneur, already a boss, or working a 9-5, this post will have some tips for all of you! You’ll learn how I maintain balance, some assemblance of sanity  and how I grew a successful business from a 99 cent notebook with minimal direction and low funds, how I continue to step up my game, how I deal with copycats, haters, and people who just can’t keep their mouths shut and mind their own business, AND keeping family and wellness as #1 priority! 

So first of all, I have to say that entrepreneurship was not the original plan for my life, but 2nd to motherhood, has been the most amazing, challenging, and rewarding things I’ve done!! In 2000, I was dual enrolled in high school and college working on my prerequisites for nursing school. I had dreamed of becoming a nurse for quite some time, had worked in nursing homes, and taken LOADS of science and health classes to prepare myself for my career choice. In early 2002, I enrolled in an LVN program and was determined I would end up an RN, or nurse anesthetist someday. Well, life had other plans, and by the end of 2004 I was married and pregnant with my first baby. I was planning on continuing my nursing career, but my husband’s job involved moving, moving again, and then of course I had my son to take care of now. He was about 6 months old when I stumbled upon the baking and pastry world, and thought it might be fun to play around with. His first birthday I spent about 9 hours on creating a cake (that I now consider an absolute atrocity, but was so proud of it at the time haha) and that started an obsession/passion that I have not been able to get away from since. Over the next several years, I poured myself into learning baking and cake decorating techniques, pastry arts, and everything in between. I baked for EVERYTHING and EVERYONE, each time learning and growing and eventually trained under some chefs and worked in various places to learn the details of the food industry. In 2010, I started a small little cake/cupcake business I called “Sabrina’s Sweets” (UGHHH lol) and started selling my creations for the first time.. I had done pretty well and enjoyed creating and baking for others. Only two short years later I closed the business due to health and other circumstances (actually one reason was a big ole fat hater, that fake “friend” I talked about in my last post, but whatever, I’m past that LOL).. Anyways, I thought my professional baking days were over, when in reality, they had not even actually begun!!! In early 2013 I started dreaming up a new idea for a bakery business in a 99 cent purple notebook (that I still have!) The business didn’t have a name, logo, products, or really much content other than I knew I wanted a completely gluten-free specialty bakery that catered to people like myself and my daughters with food allergies/intolerances, all while being gmo-free. At that point I had NO idea how to even turn this dream into a reality, how to even turn this passion into a business, or where to even begin. I decided to just start out one thing at a time. My business needed a name. Ok. Um… I had the “Natural Bakery” part, but that didn’t have that YES factor. I tried on about 20 different names, before one day, “Ambrosia” came to me… It was all part of my self-development as I found my inner goddess, and wanted to feed and nourish myself mind, body, and soul… “Ambrosia” means “food/healing nectar of the gods/goddesses” so it just clicked and made sense. Ok, so I had a name and an amazing idea. Now what? Well, I started some craiglist and facebook advertising with my own cheesy graphics describing a few goodies I could do for people with food allergies.. I caught the attention of a few people who were excited and supportive (and are still my friends/loyal clients to this day!) and that started the unstoppable drive and passion to stay on this path. I still just take it one step at a time, one thing at a time, crossing goals off my list as the business grows, all while doing it DEBT FREE (I’m a NO business loans/credit card zone!). Each time I complete a goal, I’m ready for the next one and always pushing myself to step outside the box, out of my comfort zones, and try something new.

 

Growing my passion and business has been a challenge to say the least. There’s the nitty gritty behind-the-scenes stuff no one sees — throwing stuff across the room, threatening to sell everything, saying “Fuck it, I’m DONE” more times than I can even count, the hours and hours and hours of late nights, early mornings, missing family functions, not being able to relate or talk to anyone about any current events, because I’m nose to the grind 24/7 with ZERO clue about the world around me hahaha  The first year of business was THE hardest (yes everyone will tell you this) I worked for “exposure” (basically busted my ass for free to “get my name out there”), made SO many mistakes (Um, bookkeeping? What’s THAT?), and frequently questioned myself and melted into a puddle of tears over the smallest stuff (a bad review, etc)..  BUT through all of that, there was this THING, that kept telling me to push forward… The second year of business I hustled like no one’s business. I was like, “OK everyone just move the hell out of my way, I’m doing this.” I had some graphic design done, got my website up and running, got the necessary licensing in place, linked up with fellow local entrepreneurs and worked on creative networking projects with them, did a couple local events that were actually GOOD for exposure, and straight WERKED IT. 😉 I was featured in our local news, got picked up by a couple publications, and people started to take me and my business more seriously.

 

So now I’m in year 3 of my business, which in the business world, is still pretty young, but baby I’ve come a long way in this 3 years!! Each step has its own set of challenges. Lately, I’ve been dealing with copycats, haters, people jealous of my success, the “peanut gallery” (those that can’t keep their mouths shut, mind their own business, give out unsolicited advice etc). For the copycats, I hired an attorney to start copyrighting and protecting my business from anyone who wants to try and steal my hard work and creativity. There’s NO FREAKIN WAY I’m gonna let someone come along and take YEARS of grueling work and passion!!! Anyone that says rude things about myself, my business, or anything else can go sit with the rest of the folks waiting for me to give a crap. Sorry, but I am BUSY, I don’t have time to concern myself with the opinions of others that have no importance in my life whatsoever. Last weekend, a lady would NOT shut her mouth and kept telling me what I “SHOULD” do… HAHAHAHAHAHA     First of all, I don’t take orders, I barely take suggestions! LOL But how to deal with this? I just say, “Hm.” And go about my business and do what I do.. We all know “THOSE” people, and it’s best to just keep your distance, establish your boundaries, and let them know who’s boss 😉

 

I also stepped into the role of being someone else’s boss this year. This has been another challenge. Working for myself is the easy part, having someone work for me? It’s a whole new world… My business grew so much I needed the help, but was honestly kind of nervous to bring someone on. After all, this is MY business, MY creation, and the whole idea scared the crap out of me lol.. I finally found an absolute GEM for my first helper, and have totally fallen in love with her! Each step of the way, I am making sure to be a leader and lead by example, to work along side of her, not be a hypocritical dictator like most bosses and just sit around while everyone else does stuff for me. I am always trying to look at things through the employee’s perspective, like — How would I want to be treated at a job? What kind of person would I like to work for and with? Certainly not someone who makes up ridiculous and unrealistic rules, not someone who puts the employees to work and then go sits on their ass scrolling social media for 3 hours. I want to inspire and lead with the passion, hard work, and dedication that I pour into my business, and get the same from my workers. What you give, you get, so if you have employees you feel you aren’t getting much from, ask yourself why? Are you a good leader or just a dictator?

 

Ok, so here’s my tips for Balancing LIFE~

  1. PRIORITIZE!!!! I cannot stress this enough. It seems so simple, yet can be so hard to actually achieve. For my life I created categories for priorities: 1. Self-Care/Wellness (eating right, exercise, rest, etc –it’s #1 because I can’t pour from an empty cup and give my family and business what they need if I am not taken care of) 2. Family/Home Life 3. Business 4. Everything Else
  2. EDIT– If things in your life don’t fall under your “priorities” categories, then “BYE FELICIA!!!” I CONSTANTLY edit out people, business opportunities, or other things that try to creep in and take time away from the things that are important to me. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: “If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive.” And it has to go… This includes friendships, relationships, anything that does not enrich your life in some way goes bye bye.
  3. UNPLUG– being available all the time is both a blessing and a curse. My phone is lit up like a damn Christmas tree 90% of the time lol :O Messages, texts, missed calls, voicemails, emails… I used to be super prompt about returning and answering everything, now I take a “when I get to it, I get to it” approach. During business hours, once I have taken care of myself and my family, THEN I answer business related inquires and orders. The rest of the time, I am unplugged and unavailable for my own sanity.
  4. BOUNDARIES– I’m just gonna say it. Sometimes you have to be a bitch to protect yourself, your business, and your family. One of my favorite words is “NO” and I have no problem telling people to fuck off if it is necessary. It sounds cutthroat, but if you do not establish boundaries, people will walk all over you, take advantage, and run you ragged. You HAVE TO HAVE TO set your boundaries — what you are okay with, and what you are not okay with. I have people message me at 11pm at night wanting services from my business the next day. This is a NO. I am first and foremost a HUMAN BEING who needs sleep, and secondly a MOTHER whose children take precedence (see priorities), so there are just some inquiries and expectations from others that are unrealistic and not going to happen. Establishing boundaries while like I said, can seem harsh, is a vital NECESSITY to the mama/business owner.  Editing and unplugging are great boundaries to set for yourself as well. (See how it all ties together?)

 

And last, but MOST important, balancing Mama Life and Boss Life — I have FOUR kids, yes, FOUR. Yes, I know how that happens, yes they’re all mine, and no, at this time, I do not plan to have any more, but thanks for asking!! 😛 Anyways, with 3 of them in school, the youngest still at home with me, it is the biggest challenge of them all.. Some days the haters and taxes seem easier to deal with than my kids!! My oldest is a moody pre-teen and has trouble in school sometimes, my 10 year old girl is very good in school, but can throw some serious attitude, my 5 year old is a straight PISTOL, and my littlest can be so demanding at times (we call her “the little boss”).. But they are MY babies, the #1 reason I started my business was to be able to provide for them, and I created something inspired by my daughters — literally EVERYTHING in my life revolves around my kids. So, balancing it? Honestly? Sometimes the business has to wait while I deal with my kids. And sometimes my kids have to wait while I deal with the business. It’s all about priorities and what immediately needs to get done, but I’ve become an absolute rockstar of multitasking. On the phone with a client, holding a kid, have dinner on the stove, and signing a field trip permission slip… I return business emails while I wait at the bus stop for the kids. My youngest goes with me to almost all business meetings, deliveries, consultations (another reason we call her lil boss haha), and my older kids go to events with me.  Some days I balance it really well, some days I do everything all at once, and some days I don’t do a darn thing. I figure it all works out in the end!!

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#momboss #closedealsinheels #mompreneur

 

So, do I have this balance of boss and mom life all figured out and fine-tuned yet? Yes and no. I am learning, I am growing, and constantly having to RE-balance, RE-fresh, and RE-adjust my priorities and figure out what’s working and what’s not. It is a daily struggle. So today it’s noon and I am in my damn bathrobe and haven’t showered. Yesterday I was up, full face of makeup, little one dressed/ hair done, and out the door by 9am… It’s all about BALANCE, right?! 

~SK

 

Closing a Door

*Heavy sigh* I’ve written and rewritten this post a couple times now… The first time it was a 4 page document, and I went into great detail about how I was wronged by someone, how I felt totally taken advantage of, how I allowed a wolf in sheep’s clothing to override my intuition for the 2nd time in our 6 year “friendship,” and why I felt justified and right in my mind…  I have grown a lot in the last few years, and have learned that taking the high road, not giving the attention to those toxic narcissistic people that they so desperately desire, letting things go, and moving forward is the best approach for dealing with negative people and situations. There is nothing I can say here that will change anyone’s mind, or justify my side of things because all that does is bring me down to their level. I wrote that looooong document to help me process the pain and try to gain a better understanding of myself, the other person, and the entire situation. As I re-read it, I asked myself, “How can I grow?” “What can I learn from this?” Because even the most difficult, stressful situations, and manipulative, fake, and toxic people have lessons to teach us if we just take the time to process it and look at it from ALL angles… Understanding where the other person is coming from, that a childhood trauma emotionally stunted them, that they are not really living in absolute authenticity and their truth, and that jealousy is one hell of a monster, all of these things while they don’t excuse the behavior, give us compassion for others even in the midst of the turmoil they cause.

This year has been AMAZING so far, I have completed my entire list of goals for the year in two months, my personal, family, and business life are blooming beautifully, but as you know, all that glitters isn’t gold… I know that with great success comes great trials and that no matter how awesome everything is going, there WILL be inevitable heartbreak and closed doors. When you encounter a closing door, know that it is because you are worth SO much MORE, that there IS something better coming.. The doors that open will lead you on the right path, and those things that come to an end are NOT right for your journey on this thing called life…

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I don’t pretend to have all the answers, or be a “lifestyle expert,” because honestly most days I don’t feel like I quite have my stuff together haha I can only speak from the heart, from my experiences, and hope that it will inspire and help others… I’ve said before that I don’t claim to be anything I’m not… I’m sarcastic, blunt, and can be very fierce and protective if provoked, but I also LOVE my family and close circle of people I’ve been blessed with, I work my ass off for my family, career/passion, and have no problem being ME in all my flaws, hilarity, and weirdness! I am at peace with who I am because I have fought all my demons, healed from past traumas, and just live each day with authenticity and don’t give a crap anymore if people like me or not!!

When others talk negatively about you, it’s a reflection of THEMSELVES. So over the last couple months, I’ve been called loud, arrogant, slick, conniving, malicious, and even EVIL (hahaha), and yes at first, it stings, but ultimately it’s that person’s issues within themselves. THEY are the ones that are all those things but are too damn blinded to see it, so they try to deflect and project it onto others around them.  I’m always looking inward to maintain self-responsibility, acknowledging when I screw up, recognizing my shortcomings and trying my best to grow, move forward, make amends where they need to be made. Once you’ve come to peace with yourself, your flaws, and who you truly are, no one can use that against you, and when people say things about you, it just rolls off like water off a duck’s feathers, because you know what you are and what you are not.
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So, the major lessons here —

#1. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS trust your instincts… If someone or something feels “off” DO NOT ignore that!!!! Our bodies and souls pick up on vibes unrecognizable sometimes by other people, and they may even make us feel weird or wrong for having these “hunches.” But, having to learn this lesson the hard and painful way MORE than once, I can tell you, that these are NEVER wrong.. I had this person pinned 4 years ago for what she truly was, but let others supersede my intuition which was a HUGE mistake… LISTEN to that still small voice and feelings that tell you when something’s not quite right. 

#2. When a door closes, WALK AWAY. Don’t sit there banging on it, trying to pry the handle open, driving yourself nuts wondering why the door is closed. Pick yourself up, gather your dignity, leave it closed, and move on with your life. There are SO many better things coming your way, I promise! :* 

#3. I will reiterate this. OTHER PEOPLE DO NOT DICTATE YOUR WORTH!!!!!!! Let those haters hate, say whatever they want about you, but know that your beauty, your value, and who you are deep in your soul is not based upon anyone else’s opinions. The whole world could be against me, and I will still know who I am, continue to do what I do, and live my life… 

This last few weeks have been difficult, to say the least, but through these trials, I always come out stronger and wiser. Some may say they wish nothing bad would ever happen, but I’ve learned that there is beauty in darkness, there are lessons in hardships, and growth in pain. I write to heal, I write to process, and I write to hopefully inspire… Like I said, I’m no life guru, but if my experiences and my lessons of life help just ONE person, then it’s worth it. Close doors, heal, move forward, and do no harm, but also take no shit!!! ❤

~SK

Learning to Love Yourself: My Story

This week I am hosting an online event on learning to love yourself, all about self-love, self-care, the importance of nurturing the relationship with yourself, along with affirmations, tips, and tools for acceptance, appreciation, and LOVE for who you TRULY are in your very SOUL….

It’s so funny to me to think I am now teaching a class on self love because I haven’t always have a healthy relationship with myself, in fact, it was quite the opposite for a LONG time. When I was 7, I injured my front permanent teeth and ended up losing one.. Over the course of the next few years, not only did I suffer tremendous physical pain from the many procedures & surgeries, but also emotional damage because kids were RUTHLESS and made horribly mean comments about my teeth… Puberty wasn’t exactly kind to me either  I had terrible acne, and developed quickly to a size D bra by age 13  It was such an awkward combination of feeling ugly (I got called “pizza face” on the daily), and getting unwanted sexual attention by not only boys my age, but older men too. By high school, I was THAT girl no one liked, not many talked to, and that walked alone most of the time. Except for the horny teen boys that frequently tried to grope me, I was assaulted a couple times, and the sexual innuendo and comments came at me from all directions! (I was filing my first sexual assault case at age 14)… The girls may have been even worse…  Instead of rallying around me, being my friend, and protecting me like a girl gang should, they ignored me except to call me horrible names and make up stories about me just because I had big boobs & butt and got more male attention.. I felt so alone and awful about myself.. What was so wrong with me and why did no one like me? Surely it wasn’t my boobs, butt, or zits that made me so unlikable? What was so different and fucked up about ME that no one even wanted to talk to me? My self esteem was pretty much in the toilet by the time I started dating, so of course any positive attention from males was good attention in my mind. My first couple boyfriends were very narcissistic, toxic individuals, that took total advantage of me, treated me badly and made me feel even worse about myself… One guy was a serial cheater & liar, one was very verbally abusive, and one guy even had the balls to sit there and tell me all of the things I should have fixed with cosmetic surgery on my body from head to toe!!!

After I got married and had my first baby, my self image and self worth continued to spiral downward… I was incredibly depressed, popping anti-depressants and pain pills just to get through the days, while eating junk food and sleeping to comfort myself and escape reality.  My pregnancies brought hormonal imbalances, my weight skyrocketed at almost 200 lbs, back down to the 150s, then back up again, all while suffering from debilitating migraines, anxiety, depression, insomnia, feeling worthless, fat, ugly, and most days just thinking of ways to end my own life. I can’t even count the number of nights I laid on the bathroom floor with either a bottle of pills, booze, a gun, or any combo of the 3 ready to just be done. I couldn’t understand why I felt this way despite having a husband that loved me and beautiful healthy kids.. Most would have seen my life as that “picket fence” type life, yet I could not overcome this cloud of depression and misery. A lot of days I “faked it” — had to feign happiness and love because I was buried underneath so much pain.

In 2011, I hit rock bottom and will spare the horrible details as what I refer to now as “the pit,” but that was the time in my life I felt I could go no lower… Years and years of mental anguish all came crashing down, and while it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever experienced, it was ultimately for my good.  I had a few more rough spots after that, but finally turned a corner in my life and began to “wake up,” and started seeing things a lot more clearly, and learning about myself more.

My path to awakening and healing has been a slow, steady, but amazing journey. A wonderful, supportive counselor, spouse, family, and few very close knit friends I’ve been blessed with surrounded me with love and acceptance, helping this process. It took a while, but I found my wonderland under all the layers of other people’s toxic bullshit mixed in with my own insecurities and past traumas, and have truly come to know and love myself for who I am deep in my core being. Almost 3 years ago, I did a photo shoot project for myself, as a birthday gift of self love and acceptance for what I’d survived through and who I was becoming (ME, I was becoming more ME). It was entitled, “Be Bravely YOU,” and it really broke me out of the molds of what other’s thought I should or should not be, as well as showing me my true beauty, inside and out. I had people say rude things to me regarding the photos from the shoot (it was boudoir style, so many shots were in my undies), and some say “rock it, hot mama!” but for the first time in my life, I didn’t CARE… I was able to block out the negative and rude people, knowing they only viewed me through the lens of whatever issues they had going on. Maybe they were jealous, maybe they were dealing with their own self esteem and body image issues.. But from that point forward, I vowed no matter what I would just be ME in all my muchness, regardless of what people had to say or think and had finally learned to love myself.

I’m still frequently the target of some people’s negativity and rude behavior, but I’ve gotten to the point where now I don’t engage it. Like at all. Someone says something rude to me, makes a nasty remark, scoffs, or anything else giving a negative vibe, I instantly push it away. (In my mind I envision myself physically pushing my arm straight out and pulsing a light from it to get the negative energy away from me. Nerdy, I know lol — like the force hahaha)  … Anyways, the bottom line is this. I have been through hell and back, have had my name dragged through all kinds of dirt, been criticized, judged, hated, mocked, beat, raped and threatened, and yet here I still stand. Why? How? Well first of all, because I’ve already had all this done and said to me, so there ain’t nothing new anyone is going to come up with! AND Because OTHER PEOPLE do not define or dictate my beauty, my life, my worth in ANY way, shape or form!!!! I know who and what I am —> down to earth, kind to most people, dorky & funny as heck, loving, nurturing, hard-working, mind my own damn business, and do my best to educate, inspire, and uplift people around me, and don’t give a flying crap what anyone thinks of my boobs or zits! I know not everyone is going to like me, and I’m not everyone’s cup of tea (but I’m someone’s shot of whiskey) and I am finally okay with that, knowing myself, loving myself, and nurturing that space within my soul…

           Once you love yourself, you are truly INVINCIBLE!!! Be Bravely… YOU!!!!!!!                                                                                           ~Sabrina Kate 

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